A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem . I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.
My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."
So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male alking Parrots, and the female parrots say, " Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, " Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Words Of Wisdom
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm .
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane .
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos .
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm .
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane .
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos .
Some Important Laws
LAW OF QUEUE:If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
**********
LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
**********
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
**********
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
**********
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
**********
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
**********
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
**********
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
**********
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
**********
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
**********
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
**********
LAW OF TELEPHONE : When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
**********
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
**********
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
**********
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
**********
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
**********
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
**********
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
**********
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
**********
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
**********
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
